We need to start having sex underwater more often.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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