I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
