I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
its liver damage thursday
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
