No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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