happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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