At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
