Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
