How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Boobs are out for the taking
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
How does one acquire holy water?
I enjoy the company of your penis
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
