You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize