he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
