well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize