we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
