i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
When are your genitals available?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
