This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
i've created a new STD.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Randomize
