I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
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