Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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