I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
