its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize