I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
