glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Walk of Shame today included voting.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
