You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize