Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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