As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Less talking, more tequila
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
