dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
