Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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