Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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