Cold hands, warm shart.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
