sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
