remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You pole danced in your parka.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
