Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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