Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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