got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize