How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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