i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
