hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
