That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
