shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
