There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
