You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
so explain again why im purple
no
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
