i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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