we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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