i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
