That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize