I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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