mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
