there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize