So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I look better un-naked...
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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