He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize