I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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