my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
