Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
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