is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
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