absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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