Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
