Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
