Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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