North Korea, Best Korea!
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
