In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
