you guys were way drunker than both of me
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I need a beard to bite.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
