so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
