My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
