Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
