The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
