new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Dignity is for republicans.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
