Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Boobs are out for the taking
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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